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In my last post, I spoke of the legal issues gay married couples are facing when they attempt to divorce. This roadblock to divorce is created when couples who reside in states that do not recognize same sex marriage, are refused the right to divorce on the basis that the marriage is a non-existent contract, and non-existent contracts cannot be terminated.

Happily, I have some good news to report.

It is wonderful that gay marriage is finally being recognized as a fundamental right in several states across the country.

As the number of states that will marry same-sex couples increases, it is becoming more common for couples to take a trip to one of these progressive states to tie the knot. Unfortunately, and I am loathe to have to address this, it is quite difficult to untie the knot and to obtain a divorce should the relationship go sour.

In an age where checkbooks have given way to online banking and most customer service is handled over the phone, it’s still important to sit down and take care of the important things, like going to the doctor, diversifying your stock portfolio, and deciding who will act on your behalf as your agent under a Power of Attorney should the need arise.

This is particularly important for the LGBT community, and especially important for folks living in states that recognize neither same-sex marriage nor civil unions.

As we progress into the 21st century, more people across America than ever are accepting and respectful of same-sex relationships. Certain pockets of the country have, of course, progressed more or less rapidly. While New York City exhibits a colossal billboard of two shirtless males locked in an intimate embrace, for example, Alabama has only just in 2003 struck down its laws criminalizing same-sex sexual activity. These differences in ideology make it difficult to catalyze one, uniform change in our country’s politics.

The ongoing attempts of same-sex marriage advocates continue to result in positive political support. Most notably, the New Jersey General Assembly this past week has shown great will in trying to sign the “Marriage Equality and Religious Exemption Act” into law.

Last week, a three judge Federal appeals court panel ruled that California’s ban on same sex marriage violates the constitutional rights of gays and lesbians.

We are all thrilled that more states are recognizing gay marriage and civil unions. Along with this growth, however, comes the reality that not all marriages are forever, and the LGBTQ community must plan for this possibility in the same manner as the straight community. While the mere thought of a pre-nuptial agreement can make one shiver, the benefits and importance of such cannot be overstated.

In my previous blog, I discussed LGBTQ adoption on a broad level. I discussed some of the difficulties that LGBTQ couples face when going through the adoption process and offered some advice on how to alleviate some of these difficulties. This time, I want to talk about adoption on a more micro level by sharing a story of a same-sex adoption case that created a unique family tree and a web of love made that was made possible through the LGBTQ community.

The day of the adoption hearing and the finalization of the adoption is always a heartwarming occasion. Having handled numerous adoption cases, I have had the pleasure of witnessing the special moment in which a child is formally acknowledged as a member of the family. Being able to see the dream of having a child realized is truly one of the greatest joys of my career.

We get several different flavors of this question, so it’s a great one: “It has been brought to my attention that in the state of NY it is required that before they will allow a same sex marriage you must reside within that state. Is this with every state that performs these ceremonials?”